by Arsh Kaur
Visiting gurdwara, a place of worship for Sikh, is not something I do regularly. But, on Nov 27, my mother nudged me persistently to join the celebrations of Guru Purab – the birth anniversary of Guru Nanak Dev Ji, the founder of Sikhism. He traveled across India and other countries to spread the teachings: Kirat Karo (earn an honest living), Naam Japo (meditate on the divine name), and Vandh Shako (Share with those in need).
So, on the sunny Monday morning I went to ‘Darbar Shri Guru Granth Sahib Ji’ gurdwara. I wore a flowing outfit called salwar kameez; it’s like wearing a long tunic style top with loose pants. Like everyone else, I covered my head with a dupatta but wrapped a vibrant red cashmere shawl around me to channel my mother’s style.
Upon entering, I took off my shoes – a tradition as a sign of showing respect. The building was decorated with many colourful flowers and was vibrant and busier than usual. As a part of the celebration, everyone lit candles outside on a designated table.
I joined my hands and bowed all the way down to touch my forehead to the ground to show my reverence to Guru Granth Sahib Ji – the eleventh guru and holy book of Sikhs.
Finding a seat at the back, I tried to immerse myself in the hymns of Guru Nanak Ji. However, focusing on hymns has always been a struggle for me – perhaps my mind is more interested in all the people around me. So I decided to head downstairs to help in the Langar Hall – a special kitchen that prepares free meals for everyone who visits the gurdwara.
The whole practice of Langar was started by Guru Nanak Ji to show that everyone is equal and deserves a good meal irrespective of their background. The ladies already volunteering were very kind to make some space for me in the kitchen. While rolling chapatis, memories of my grandma caught up to me. She used to be so proud of my round chapatis and showed them off to her friends. Helping here always makes me feel connected in some way and fills an unknown void in my heart.
After a couple of hours, I took a break to drink some tea. While I was waiting in line, a lady, as old as my grandma, gave me a tight hug.
She said, “Purab Mubarak dhiye [Congratulations on Guru Purab, daughter].”
Her unexpected kindness, her wrinkled hand caressing my face and her words, “Shabash dhiye”, as she praised me for being there, overwhelmed me. I couldn’t stop my tears – surprised by her love for a stranger. She hugged me again and we sat down together to drink tea. She shared stories of her grandchildren. She told me how her granddaughter, who is my age, is now married, and how she feels so lonely without her. She was sad that all her grandchildren are now old and do not have time to come with her to the gurdwara like they used to as kids.
We connected in a way that I didn’t expect. Even when she left, I was filled with so many emotions. I realized she is actually following the teachings of Guru Ji by loving everyone.
It was a moment of realization for me – a deep self reflection. My heart sank when I realized I was not following any teachings of Guru Ji that I have been taught.
‘Seek truth’ – truth seems like a very distant concept.
‘Meditate’ – sitting in silence feels impossible for me.
‘See everyone as equals’ – it is a challenge for me to not judge people on little things.
‘Love all beings’ – even loving myself without judgment is an unfamiliar territory.
I thanked God for this moment of awakening. Right then I made a promise to myself to get more involved in the community, try to love myself and others without judgment, and always stay rooted.
When I came home that evening I called my mother to thank her for nudging me to go to the gurdwara and my grandma to tell her how much I miss her.
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